Friday, July 5, 2013


Now that the end of the year has come to a close, I'm reflecting on the many amusing things that I did not have a chance to blog about because I started this so late into the year. Here are some of the moments I can't forget ...

"Take my stapler out of your pants!"
 Yes, I teach high school, and I had asked that some of the taller boys help me to put up a word wall. Apparently after putting up the word wall, the logical next step was to put the stapler away ... down his pants. Let us consider this your introduction to the student I will call Romeo* from now on. 

"Caliente means horny!"
If you know basic Spanish, you might realize the immediate error above. 'Caliente' means hot, as in temperature, climate or sometimes intensity of spice. However, due to an unfortunate error in judgement of Google translate, Romeo had been informed that the definition was 'horny.' Fast forward, he shouts this helpful phrase across the classroom after another student had asked how to say 'caliente' in English, and I scream, "OhMyGod, Romeo, noooo!" Through the use of urban dictionary, and then Google translate I managed to convey the meaning of "horny" to Romeo in an awkward conversation I assume no 17-year-old wants to have with his English teacher. 

"ATV in the mude"
I often skim my students exam essays as I wander around the classroom during testing days. My first thought was, hmm, I think he means "nude". My second thought was what the &$@! that sounds painful! I hope the person scoring that essay got as many laughs as I have from that one sentence - and decided he deserved to pass because of it. 

"I got new soccer clits!"
On Monday mornings I often start the class with a BellWork assignment along the lines of, "What did you do this weekend?" One of my darling 7th grade boys wrote the above sentence on his paper. Seeing as I have English Learners, this happens a lot more often than you might expect. I noticed this and asked him, 
"So, what did you do this weekend?" -me
"I got new soccer cleats!" - him
"Ah, okay, let's change that 'i' to 'ea.'" - me
And no, I didn't inform him of what he had written and its real meaning ;)

"Ms. works at Hooters!"
Kobe began a conversation in my class, discussing the merits of this particular establishment with another student (a girl). The girl insisted that of course she would never go, and neither would Ms. (she's correct) because it is demeaning to women (correct again). Which led to this...

"Have you ever been to Hooters Ms.?" - Kobe
"Uh, no..." - me
"Are you kidding Kobe?! Ms. works at Hooters!" - Kobe's bff
"OUT." - me

It took all of my personal restraint not to laugh out loud in his face, as I thought it was the most awkward & hilarious statement I had heard all week. Yes, I have been very blessed in that department, and likely could obtain immediate employment there should this "teaching gig" not go as planned. However,  I had to "be teacher" and thus, on went my "serious face" and finger pointing towards the door. The rest of the class could tell I wanted to laugh, but I did a reasonably good job keeping it together, all things considered.

And now, it is July, and I am missing these kiddos and my comic relief like crazy! Luckily, I start summer school next week, which should provide excellent inspiration ;)

* as always all names have been changed. I decided on "Romeo" for this student, because when in doubt about his behavior or actions in my class, his response is, "I love you Ms., you're beautiful Ms." 

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